A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope....along with this note:
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care, Ricky
A stockbroker, on his way home from work, in New York City, came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this seems much worse than usual." He notices a police officer walking between the lines of stopped cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, "Officer, what's the hold up?" The officer replies, "Hillary Clinton is depressed, so she stopped her motorcade, and is threatening to douse herself in gasoline, and set herself on fire. She says her husband has spent all her money, and the Democrats told her to forget about running for President in 2008. So we're taking up a collection for her." The stockbroker asks, "How much have you got so far?" The officer replies, "About 400 gallons, but a lot of folks are still siphoning."
Actress Molly Sims is shown wearing a $30 million diamond bikini in this publicity photograph released February 14, 2006. The bikini, designed by Susan Rosen is made up of over 150 carats of D flawless diamonds. The bikini is featured in the 2006 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue which is being released February 14.
A man receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company.
Unfortunately, when he arrives at the stadium he realizes the
seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium.
He is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field.
About halfway through the first quarter he notices an empty seat
10 rows off the field right on the 50-yard line. He decides to
take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around
the security guards to the empty seat. As he sits down, he asks
the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting
here?" The man replies no.
Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game,
he again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible!
"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the
Super Bowl and not use it?"
The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me.
I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.
This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been together at since we
got married in 1967."
"Well, that's terribly sad. But still, couldn't you find
someone to take the seat? A relative or close friend?"
"No," the man replied, "they're all at the funeral."